Apeiron Lore — Tainted Love -

Salutations, noble Godlings! In today’s article, we will be cracking open once more Apeiron’s grand old book, blowing the dust off the…

Salutations, noble Godlings! In today’s article, we will be cracking open once more Apeiron’s grand old book, blowing the dust off the metaphysical pages, settling back with a steaming mug of your favorite beverage, and investigating another quaint and curious aspect of our god-game’s unique lore. To wit, we will be discussing the dangerous and terrible BOODS, the poor corrupted Doods who have been grotesquely twisted and malformed into servants of Chaos!

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Now then, tally ho to the lore! It’s been a hot minute since our last lore piece, so we’ll hit you with the sparknotes on that first. In Apeiron, you are a Godling — a new divine born out of the ethereal matter of the Great Singularity at the Heart of Creation. Lucky you! But you aren’t exactly overflowing with celestial power. Happily, High Goddess Cosmos is here to help. She sweeps magnanimously towards you, the glittering firmament a lovely ordered flow behind her, and lets you know that you can take control of one of these EDEN machines, darling, she’s especially prepared them just for you! All you have to do is hop on in, and you take control of a whole planet! With all of its little Doods. How adorable they are. Look at them running around — eating, sleeping, frolicking…mostly eating and sleeping. Oops! One was finishing a sandwich and didn’t notice it was walking into a hole. Cosmos fishes it out and flicks it back to its village with a chuckle. Silly little things!

High Goddess Cosmos looks at you seriously, her majestic brow furrowed in concern, takes you upon her lap, and explains the situation. You see, these little Doods, they are — how to put this diplomatically — dumb as bricks. But they aren’t bad-hearted little creatures! They just want to live out their cute little mortal lives in peace. And with a beaming smile that reveals teeth shining like all the stars in heaven, Cosmos explains that you can help them, by inhabiting an EDEN and channeling your divine power into miracles to make their lives better.

Then with a sigh, she stares off into the distance. When she turns back to you, there is no smile on her face. Her eyes are hard as diamonds and her voice cuts through the very fabric of reality. “I have erected a Veil, my dear, to keep us here in the Axis Mundi safe. But one day you will need to go outside. And then you will see them…” A single tear rolls artfully down her flawless cheeks. You feel your heart well up: what a perfectly controlled display of emotion!

She whispers: “The Boods.”

High God Chaos goes from planet to planet corrupting the EDENs Cosmos has so meticulously placed. The nerve! And then the Taint leakes out, driving the sweet little Doods mad. The result: Boods. Warped into monsters (although they are still a tiny bit cute — Chaos can never fully overcome Cosmos’ power), the Boods follow Corrupted Gods and Godlings in an unholy crusade to spread their madness across the godiverse.

Cosmos shudders and draws you closer, as if she could protect you. There are the Gobbos: small, dark, stunted. Individually, they are about as tough as a sack of potatoes, but together, they form a giant potato boulder of DEATH. Then there are the Brutes. These Boods are just walking piles of muscles. Their strength is unmatched, if they can reach their destination without tripping over. And then there are the Thinlies. The Thinlies are Boods who the corruption has stretched out like butter over too much bread. They move dangerously, slipping in and out of reality, and slicing like a hot knife through…butter.

Cosmos is speaking in the lowest of tones. “Some whisper that the Boods will even eat that most vile of vegetables ,the most cunning of cabbages — yes, the Boods will even eat brocolli!” You recoil in terror. Oh the doodanity! At the mention of that horrid plant, the Doods in the planet below look about in fear, as if the specter of that flowering head and horrid stalk loomed just around the corner.

Cosmos manifests a spotless handkerchief and dabs daintily at her eyes. But that’s quite enough talk of the Boods. These are just a few of the many that you will encounter beyond the Veil, she lets you know. You must be brave, she tells you. You must be bold. You must drive the Boods back! She picks you up and places you in the universe. She begins to move away, her multifaceted mind already contemplating a new dilemma. Then she stops for just a moment and looks back. “A warning, my newborn champion. There is one among the Boods — the first. The Prime. Watch out for that one. You wouldn’t want to get corrupted yourself, would you?”

That a mere Bood could have such power! You shudder to think on it. Cosmos sweeps away, and you turn to your new planet and the Doods living there.

And thus swings shut our glimpse into the lore of Apeiron for today. What do you think of the Boods? The warning of Bood Prime? Are you shivering in your booties or are you prepared to charge forth in the name of Cosmos? Let us know! Follow us on Twitter, join our growing Discord, and talk some Apeiron.

See you next time, Godlings!